Saturday, September 9, 2017

Disconnect Sometimes

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Disconnect Sometimes

Social media is probably the most powerful tool of communication. With just a press of a button you can reach out to someone living in a different continent. I was so excited about all the apps and the new devices that has come across us. Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, youtube…and the list goes on. Trust me I love all these apps. Great way to share your life and be able to speak to people and share your life.




OVER SHARING

Well, unfortunately for me I guess the media became OVER sharing. I started realizing I was posting pics about my walks, to my food, to just looking outside the window. Every moment had to be captured as I had to update it and put it into all my various social media feeds including my blog. If I didn’t take pics, how would I share what happened in the last week. All kinds of weird thoughts started over the last year. Would it seem I am not posting regularly, that I don’t care…the thoughts turned WORSE. I started worrying maybe it would seem I just don’t have a life.

HOBBY

Everyone was posting pics it was NORMAL. I was not doing it and I almost started to STOP living in the effort to Share. And then suddenly one day I realized what is happening?? I went back to the time I started the blog. Just as a hobby. The hobby turned into great opportunities to work with such great brands and love the sponsors and they were really supportive and send me great products and dresses. It was just effortless. Suddenly, I realized what is happening. I just didn’t want to do anything but just about keep updating my life and posting all the information.I stopped enjoying blogging, but I started hating the process. It was becoming a huge process.



MORE WORK

Gradually I realized, it was not fun anymore. It was WORK. I already had work, and this was supposed to be a hobby. So I disconnected. Just decided to reduce all my usage of the social media outlets. I focused on them being able to do things and wanting to get things done my way. Relaxed. So I stopped using more than 50% of all apps related to social media. I felt better. It wasn’t fun anymore.

SPONSORS BREAK

The moment I realized that something isn’t working and especially isn’t fun, it was a waste of time. Its not worth spending your time day and night. I took a break from sponsors and promotions. Its one of the best decisions for me now. I went back to what I like, blogging. Just writing about what I like and my experiences. Only in the recent weeks I have started to observe I am going back to feeling that I am enjoying it again. This is what I started to do.

Put the camera down.
Smile more, enjoy the moment
More family time and play time.
No  make up, dress up, looking picture perfect for that shot

No more posing, outfit of the day, any kind of look day, just natural pics going forward. 





SWITCH OFF


So sometimes, I recommend don’t listen to people. Switch off your mind. Don’t get caught up in views, opinions and gossip. Do things for you and that is most important thing in life. The more time you spend pleasing others or doing things for others, the more you will become miserable. I enjoyed blogging, not getting sucked into the need to please and do things FOR blogging. Just the simple thoughts and time that I took to express my views. So anything you take up in life, you need to make sure that you enjoy it more. 
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Sunday, August 27, 2017

Be your biggest critic

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Be your biggest critic

As we get older, things in our mind tend to move to become more straightforward and direct. The toughest part of accepting change is adjusting to it. Most of the time it sounds easier than usual but I have come to find that the hardest part is trying to accept faults in one self. We find it so easy to criticize others and analyse, gossip and find fault in other people. How many times have you actually said, 'Yes I need to improve my way of being and how I react to people'. Self analysis is probably the biggest and most important lesson we all need to learn to start doing. 



Even as I say to try and be your biggest critic, it still doesn't mean that you need to keep analyzing yourself all the time. Its helpful to keep few things in mind. 

1. DON'T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF

Well, I have been on both sides of this. I also have seen friends who tend to beat themselves up for things. 'Oh, maybe I should have made more effort for him and he wouldn't have left' or 'I didn't study hard enough and its always me who fails and it has to be me'. Being your biggest critic doesn't mean beating yourself up so badly, that you start hating everything about yourself. It is a balance, once you have identified the problem, DO SOMETHING about it. Not just analysis and then push so hard at yourself you get demotivated. Realize and find a solution. 

2. SOLUTION MODE

I am sure you have heard the saying, 'Out of the problem, and into the solution' So try to do just that. Over the years, I started making the 5 min rule for my issues. This meant, that I would probably discuss any issue or express it for 5 mins which gave me oppotunity to identify it. Then moved to the solution  mode. What can I do to make sure this becomes easier process. This strategy i applied in my career mostly, so i started using the same idea for my personal life as well. Dont keep dwelling on the same issue repeatedly, get into solution mode. If you dont find a solution, google it, ask friends, go to someone you trust who can give you good advice.





3. NO ONE'S PERFECT

This is probably the toughest thing for us to understand. You are NOT perfect. We tend to look at our lives and compare it with others. I remember when I got active on social media, I would see all these fashion bloggers and wonder, it would be so cool to be travelling the way they do and see the world and attend all the fashion shows. Then i tried to understand that it literally is their job. We get caught up in the perfection of it all, but the constant travel, jet lag, being pretty all the time, trying to look content and happy and constantly being on schedules on mad travel and crazy attending arent things we all can do. I am sure it sounds fun, but the effort and work isnt easy. Then I realized its a lot of work and isnt easy to do. Its more peaceful t o appreciate what you have and work hard instead of constantly comparing your life to othes when you dont know their struggle.


4. BE HONEST

Its of no help to you or others if you don't admit if you have any issues. I have seen people including myself who refuse to analyse they have any issue and that the reason for all their problems is because of someone else rather than them. I always thought that I was hilarious. Seriously, that I can make anyone laugh and I'm great company. However, until the day that when my good friend said, "You are really funny and its great to have you around. But honestly, sometimes you can be insensitive and almost seems like you are making fun of us, rather than us having fun" I stopped that day the way I was communicating and then realized that the information I provided was to make others happy. But never considered that my humor might not be coming across the right way. It made me realise that I need to evaluate myself. 






5. IF YOU DONT GO FOR IT, YOU HAVE TO BLAME YOURSELF 

Often times, self criticism can limit us. It can become so limiting that we might even lose chances or opportunities to be able to live a higher and better lifestyle. 
I dont have the skills to get that job.
I dont think I can be that strong to push myself to get that done.
I dont have the ability to convince him/her to make effort for me.
I dont think its my time to achieve this.

So many donts. Bottom line. Finding out what you need to work on is great. But give it a shot anyways. Realize what you need to work on make effort and then GO FOR IT. If you dont even try, you limit yourself. Test your limits, dont worry about people what they will say. Just do it. Go go for it now! :) 


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Saturday, August 27, 2016

Amusement Park Time

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Amusement Park Time

Its was the weekend and we decided to catch up with our friends from New York. Even though we lived in same city and now have all moved...I still loved the time we had as friends. Esp for my son, he loves meeting people and making new friends and it was the same today! The kids had such a great time in the amusement park and they just about spent time trying the rides. But the very first time for Vignan and he was totally psyched yet was so hesitant to try the rides. We were sitting there and he just agreed to two rides whereas our friends kids were literally trying every ride! They were like fearless but since his nature is hes very careful and likes to analyse things. So he was super excited once he tried the rides.



We had some ice cream to beat the heat and just sat around and just about relaxed a lot more. The heat was so much gosh, we were almost exhausted running and managing the kids around the situation and seeing the kids having fun. So we just about relaxed and finally after an hour of playing I couldnt ride the many games there and Vignan was like he wanted to go and then once kids were done we headed for a lovely lunch and spend a gorgeous day spending time at home and catching up on updates on us. Then we all cooked together and had fun. We were also having a great time eating and playing around and having a lotta fun. I always cherish moments with family and friends and its important to be with them and value time you have had. Its easy and important to be able to feel the same and enjoy the time u have that is something that you wont get again. The time is most precious. My biggest lesson in life. People tend to take time for granted. 

TIPS FOR THE DAY

  1. ALWAYS, ALWAYS SMILE - There is always a reason to frown. Just take sometime in a day to read something funny or what something which really cracks you up. 
  2. ONE GOOD DEED - Donate some of your old stuff, it could be anything. I have made it a habit for us to do it as it inculcates the habit to appreciate what you have. 
  3. WRITE 5 GOOD THOUGHTS - Always try your best to write good thoughts and how you enjoyed your day. It could be as simple as if your friend left you a thank you note. 
  4. SHOP LITTLE - Most of the time people always spend too much, including me. So i made this rule to shop within certain amount. The amount needs to be habit and then you enjoy the experience without worrying about how much you spent.
  5. TIME WITH PEOPLE - Always spend time with the people in your life. Its not about partying, or the need to always be out socializing with people. Its just about giving them time, if its for a few hours or a few moments. I still remember moments like having milkshake or making french fries were my favorite moments. 







The amusement park was supposed to be for the kids. I found myself going to more rides than the kids! I guess we all have a inner child who does come out once in a while and wants to enjoy themselves immensely. The kids hesitated to go through all the games, one would and then the other wouldn’t. It was just pushing them to try some rides which looked scarier than others.


It was a fun day. We had an opportunity to also just enjoy the day but then to beat the heat we got some ice cream and a great dinner. We enjoyed cooking and spending time as going out would have been noisy and this way we got to discuss what was going on with our lives. We spend the next day going out again and eat out eventually but I guess the simple moments of enjoying the time and seeing the kids bond and have fun is priceless.







In our busy lifestyles, its important to take out the time for giving them that time and importance. The heat got the better of us for sure and spend the day at home and evening went to the park while they raced and ran everywhere. The most relaxing thing for me is to sit on the grass and take in the surroundings and the sounds.

Even though we were so new to this city, its always people who make you feel at home. I have often times been in situations where I've been surrounded by people and yet there has been completely moments I would want to get away coz I didn't choose to be surrounded by those people. Now, I feel lighter away from noise, people who dont really make much sense to have around and just appreciate what I have around.  




There was an incident that really annoyed me. We newly moved to the city, and naturally we were still in the process of buying a car and figuring our way around and thank god for Uber. However, the 2nd day we were in the city we decided to go and explore in an Uber and we didn’t have a car seat, we planned to buy it on the weekend so we just about thought to enjoy the experience as well.

While we were in transit the driver decides to say since we didn’t have a car seat for our kid, we would need to exit the car in the middle of the ride. I think I almost lost my cool, but we did explain that this should have been said at the beginning of the ride. Some people just don’t have the consideration to understand how a situation can really affect and bother. People are stuck up and that’s just how it goes. Dont let people bother you too much. If they bother you, it affects just you and not them :) 




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Wednesday, August 24, 2016

MAKE MAGIC

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

MAKE MAGIC


Recently, I had gone to the Fedex office to send some parcels and while I was doing it I noticed in the book section a book that caught my eye. Now you can say it was destiny or that I was meant to get the book in my hands. I generally don't buy books on the spot but this was from Rhonda Brynes. The author who had written The Secret series which has greatly influenced my life. I remember there was an activity in the Secret book that she asked to do. It was quite simple. She said that take pictures of all the things you want to achieve lets say in next year or short time and put them up on a board or cabinet..somewhere you can see it everyday. So I took a bunch of pictures from magazines and put it on my cupboard. They were pictures of a beautiful house, buddha meditating that means I am looking for peace. Also, a beautiful in love couple - wanting to meet my perfect man, along wit images of holidays around the world, immense recognition and success in my career and good family connections and time. 



1
ROUTINE IS NORMAL
One year had passed since I had put the images, and honestly nothing much changed. I was going to my routine work as usual and doing things as per my own will. I really wondered does this really work. But then there was a catch to it. You have to BELIEVE in it. The truth was I put the pics up but I didnt believe. I just couldnt imagine things would change and all those things on the board would come to life. So I changed my thinking, that was all. I didnt change anything else. I just finally changed my mindset and decided to start giving it a short. All I did was change my mind. And then one year later, after I decided to consciously start accepting goodness. It started happenng...though I would say few things are still in progress things did start to happen and change for the better.

2
AHA MOMENT
I became a believer. In opening my eyes and giving a chance to life in a positive. That it wouldn't just be the same. I was so used to the routine and I think most of us are so used to how things are going that we stop believing in ourselves or in things that can happen to us. We accept life as it is. The more we given in the more things remain the same. The second AHA moment of my life was this book called THE MAGIC. What I love about this book is absolutely the fact that it has influenced the way I have started to do things. I have added gratitude diary and belief to my life now. I have started writing down the good I see in people and appreciating and telling the people who are the most important in my life about how grateful I am to have them in my life. It has been profoundly influential because it has made my mind calmer, more focused and positive. 

THE MORE YOU LOOK FOR GOOD IN PEOPLE, THE MORE GOOD FOR YOU START FEELING.



...3
DRAINING YOUR ENERGY
Notice each time we have a fight, or argument or try to sort some situation or even try to talk bad or negative about people how uneasy and negative we start feeling. You immediately feel the energy from your system draining. You dont feel relaxed, you want to get away, run away almost and dont feel happy with your current situation at all and then things get more worse. It has been more negative and more annoyed with time. It has been very important to be able to come back and feel more important for who you are. The moment I face a negative situation I will either try to resolve it or get away from it if I feel I cant handle it or manage to resolve it. Yes, I come across blunt rude and a care a damn and yes I am. I would rather keep my peace of mind than be confrontational and fight further. But if people are more positive and forgiving then it becomes easier. 


4
APPRECIATE
Today, the things I value most are my loyal friends who have been in my life over 10 to 15 years and even though we have all moved across the globe and have our own lives we still try to make time for eachother and wish well for others and keep regularly checking on eachother. My leranings have been value people in your life. Its probably the most important lesson Ive learnt. Good things start happening the more we start wishing well for the people in our life. Keep watching...and I would recommend to grab this book for great activities and how to bring back the good energy and right focus in your life. It has definitely given it to me esp with the testing things and when I was moving around so much it hard to maange sometimes. This book was it for me! 




5
FOCUS YOUR MIND

Make sure that your keeping your mind busy. As a habit the human mind needs to be used. Its making sure that your utilizing your time which needs to be used well. The human mind has the ability to grasp and do so much. The moment you arent keeping yourself busy with lets say work, houseold stuff, discussing useful aspects or doing something creative. It tends to progress towards getting negative. You start wondering why you are not getting things goin in the right way and if you dont have a purpose in life you feel lost, loser or even a failiure sometimes. I have been there, esp when I experienced so many changes in my life with moving around and trying to get a routine going and not being able to do so, it was very annoying. By keeping yourself busy and having a good day of work and schedule day ahead, you will be able to find yourself feeling motivated and happier. It improves the state of mind. For example, I started the blog as a hobby just a place to document my memories or experiences and now I literally take it as a full time job! I enjopy what im doing and thats the most important thing. It could be anything, as long as your happy doing it, go for it!

6
AVOID NEGATIVITY

The most common mistake I have seen people do is get into the habit of either talking negative or doing something which is hurtful or harmful to someone else. I was also victim to this and I didnt realise how I was harming my peace of minda nd others. I remember in the past I was so hell bent on thinking I was right on my views that I often times shut out or refused to listen to anyone. The one method I learnt to start becoming more paitent and listening to what others say was reading spiritual and life lesson books. Lotta people think its like theraphy or something is wrong but the more you invest in time to analyse who you are its actually healthy for your mind and your life. I started to read more and analyse myself, I started to ask feedback from friends and fam about how iwas and if they felt i Could improve something about me and I was shocked that many of the responses were things that were so basic I just overlooked! Self reflection will only happen when you are open to accepting your faults. If someone says there are things that you want to imrpove oabout you the probability that you need to imrpove those things are quite high. People that you trust are going to lookout for you so make sure you take views from someone you trust and not just anyone. It might not always be genuine. 





7
STOP GOING TO THE PAST

One of the biggest AHA moments for me (it seems to be my favorite go to line nowadays) for me was when Iyanla Vanzant said on the Oprah show that often times people live in the past. I never understood what she meant. I always thought it was just about not talking about your past. But recently I realised, that I tend to dwell on my past in terms of things I always feel I shd have done better. It was coming across in my conversatirons, always feeling that I should have done something else would have had a better result. Often times I undermined myself too and never realised that the more I Was doing it the more I was pulling my own confidence and belief down. I immediately stopped doing this and I must say it would take forever sometime. I would think I knew the I had stopped it and suddenly in another conversation I have managed to now bring up some issue from my past again and when I noticed people rolling their eyes, like, here-she-goes-again look and it really hit me like a ton of bricks. I was becoming a whiner. I didnt like it and I just stopped that day. Sometimes you have to have a hard stop! 


8
SMILE MORE

So do you remember the last time that you have appreciated someone or gave someone a real compliment. Not just some random generic one like your pretty or just nice dress or something. That is probably the most common statement people tend to give. I mean heartfelt genuine and unique compliment from the heart that the other person can feel you mean it. THe more you make others feel good the more you feel good. Its as simple as that. When I see people throlling or hating on celebs or social media platforms just coz they have an opinion doesnt mean you shouldnt have one. It just means that how you put things across is affecting you first not the other person always. Coz they are coming out of your mouth, so they are words that are forming in your system and are harming you first. So if you speak rudely or negatively it will then impact you more than you think. Try your best to speak well or not say anything at all if you cant think of something polite or nice to say. Its not always neccessary to express your views. Its hurting someone, someone is harming thsmselves or doubtin who they are becoz of what negative is writen about them. Try and speak positive so they feel that you mean it and help someone somewhere, you can change someone elses life with just WORDS.





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Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Italian Getaway

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Italian Getaway

Our Italian holiday didnt have its ideal start to it..it had its perfect time but the rains were really the toughest time to manage trying to explore the beautiful place of Rome. But as the essential sightseeing of the place was definitely my priority, the stay also becomes very important and part of the routine and becoming very important. The Intercontinental I generally love staying at but the Rome one really small! I guess Europe has always known for the beauty but the city being very small. We paid a huge bomb for it and the balcony was tiny and really couldnt enjoy the views. 





However, on the bright side, we loved the sightseeing of the city and we explore the hotel and then in the evening took a walk around the city near the hotel. Rome has this convenience aspect of it when you are travelling around its easy to get around. But be aware of all the looting that happens, the cab guys are really tough at times and gave us a tough time if the travel wasnt were they found it to be convenient or easy for them. One guy was so damn annoying gosh, it really does dampen the spirits but the city makes up for it in its charm and beautiful architecture. A classic quality about what Europe is known for. 

Yog was such a sweet lil baby, he had a little tough time managing the sightseeing rides and travel across so we couldnt possibily cover al ot more than we really wanted to so that was a lesson for me to not overload our experience esp keeping in mind that the baby is with us and taht is definitely something that we need to keep in mind. The most important and crazy things that we need to always keep in mind is the kids happiness and enjoyment. So in that regard I made sure that he did enjoy that a lot. The favorite part was a horse ride that we took for him and he absolutely loved it but be ready to be able to shell a lotta money for the horse ride and its around 100 Euros ...was it worth it Probably not! But to see the smile on my sons face that would totally make up for it! I cant wait to explore other cities in Italy on another trip! That’s so much more to see! >D





As I dreaded, it rained a lot. We made so many plans to visit all these gorgeous places but the rain with a small kid its tougher than we thought. It was such a bummer to miss out on exploring the way we had planned to. Nonetheless, we caught up on that day a well deserved sleep and rested the whole day. We might not always enjoy everything and plan forever, yet we ended up not doing so many things we thought we would do. However, I got over it pretty soon. The next day was another rainy day but it was more sunnier so we could shop we did see more sights and also got an artist to make my painting. Not to mention I looked so ridiculous, I am assuming the purpose of the painting was to exaggerate our expressions. I had a HUGE smile which was literally made to look like most of my face. It was hilarious and I love it.

The weather got better, so we also tried the traditional pizza’s which are known for Italian speciality to have. So it was amazing to have it. It tasted as good as they said and it was square – unique style yet I loved it. I ran out of space on my digi and missed to take those funny pics J But we stuffed ourselves with that and more gelatos. Somehow ice cream isn’t my thing, I know I know I sound ridiculous. I just like ice cream with nuts and that is something I enjoyed a lot. So I had the chocolate hazelnut ice cream and its probably one of my favorites. The trip was good overall, we missed the museum and that was a MAJOR bummer, but when I get older theres always an opportunity where I can probably appreciate it and enjoy it more. Those are the moments I will look forward to enjoying as well. 




The hotel was really small and that surprised us. I guess the best experiences we have had have been in US and in Europe everything was pretty smaller, yet you end up paying more. So as a caution I would recommend doing a lot of research to get the best deals before you head out to one of the popular Italian cities. The people are a mixture in behavior too. First, I would see people be extremely friendly and helpful and there were the snobbish kinds as well who just felt like they had nothing they were entitled to express anything or even say anything except a word.

I always believed that being honest about my travels was important so that anyone looking to go there be ready to experience it as well. So honestly, from a overall experience, I have mixed reviews for this place. The upside was the history and learning so much about it. But the downside was the traffic, the cab guys will try to fleece you if they know that they can get away with it. They wont tell you the cost at the beginning and then later will pretend to add their own number and instead of you arguing you would want to just get away from them. This is not for all cab guys, I am sure they are some good ones. We got a few really rude/weird ones, who just felt that they could just give their own price versus a meter. Huge concern and red this was. So culturally people are strange. As long as you know people, thank your stars. J




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Thursday, August 4, 2016

LIFE CHOICES

Thursday, August 4, 2016

LIFE CHOICES


I have always experienced crossroads in my life. No, I am not referring to the Britney spears movie. That was more like a cross country ride thats all. But by cross roads I mean that life itself being adventurous and most of the time lets face it, its quite routine. I dont see much change. Growing up the only normal was moving and travelling because of my dads work. It became normal to me to be able to explore and move around the world. 







Though the upside was that I got to see a lot of  new places and meet some amazing people the constant changes however did affect my confidence and created insecurities when I was younger. It was self doubting and struggles with catching up with others and studying and trying very hard to make sure I was staying afloat. Then school days were definitely my toughest time. I eventually learnt that I need to let go and make things easier, I worked harder, I realised that my determination was going to bring me up to the mark. 

This was definitely one of the toughest time of my life. Mainly because I was beginning to realise that the constant change had seen variation in the acamedics and it was really tough. 

Finally, the thunderstorms were gone. The sun was shining and my hard work paid off, I took extra classes and made sure I worked harder I studied more number of hours till late in night when everyone was asleep and woke up early in the morning at the crack of dawn while my friends slept peacefully...it was a lotta tough nights and lack of sleep and finally I ace my exams I still remember the date I did that and I reached home and did a little dance! I had achieved this in my school days all on my own. I didnt give up, I refused to give up and it paid off..




Honestly, the harder days were there, I felt alienated even though I had great friends. I felt left behind even though I was standing in a crowd. It was one of those moments when you feel no matter how much you try nothing seemed to be working for you and I know now that it probably is normal but when your a kid you think its just happening to you and everyone is having a great time. I had a great family support who encouraged me and that became my confidence pillar and they were absolutely fantastic and caring beyond words. 

IF YOU REMAIN DETERMINED AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, YOU DONT NEED ANYONE TO TELL YOU OR GUIDE YOU...YOU ARE YOUR BIGGEST STRENGTH.


This was one of my crucial lessons at a young age. When I overcame my fears of failing in my academics and fears of not succeeding in my life and career I kept remembering Mariah Carey words in my all time favorite song - Theres a hero, if you look inside your heart, you dont have to be afraid of who you are...that song changed my life and I guess I will never be able to express my gratitude becoz music has always been my form of inspiration and till this day I remember this song and how I used to play it on repeat mode to get motivation. 






LIFE CHOICES $ LESSONS

1) Working hard, theres no replacement - The biggest lesson that I have learnt from this phase in my life was that if you dont work hard and put in the effort you cant say that destiny was like this or I am not lucky. That is something no one can say, unless you have tried and worked hard enough. I have seen a lotta people who are immensely intelligent and have such amazing talent but just dont put in the time or effort for the work they want to do. Those situations and work isnt always going to work if you dont put the effort into it. 


2) Dont let anyone put you down - Those mean girls were there, but the situation to react or to stoop to their level or try and give them the satisfaction was something I didnt bother. No matter what I heard I have always believed that I will keep working and trying my hardest until the day comes before I achieve all the things that I have set out for. It was very frustrating coz failure was so normal and everything seemed so tough, but I kept trying but if you let people know that you are not bothered about what they say you will learn to ignore them and focus on your stuff and what you want to get down. 


 Shirt Dress - Shein , Bag - Micheal Kors, Watch - Micheal Kors, Sandals - Max

3) You are stronger than you think - Its only in the tough situations that your resilience and who you are is tested. Ive realised I can handle more pressure even though I was pretty young and then the things started happening. I didnt find it tough to get up earlier, it was effortless to take those extra classes, travelling and making it crazy and going across all the place and been so busy but it didnt feel like work and I totally enjoyed it. 


4) Listen to the voices in your head - Lotta people let the negative bother them so much or what they hear or if someone they admire tell them something bad that it affects them constantly and it has happened to extert too much. But there is always a voice inside that guides you that what I believe, either yu see signs or you feel that you speak into your mind that it happens. But then the things always affecting us are what we let into our mind and affect our soul. These are the things that matter the most. So be paitient and effective and be super healthy and happy. 
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